


The Sin Called Jealousy

by VampireHydeFTW



Category: Malice Mizer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 23:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13624095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: It's hard watching the man you love sleeping around with a different girl every night, easy to become jealous and easy to become spiteful and cruel.





	The Sin Called Jealousy

            Kami watched as Gackt left the club with a woman and sighed, for every concert, there was a girl. She made seventeen. He'd become rather obsessed with watching Gackt and he'd noticed how the other slept around to such a degree, he could actually narrow it down to three girls that made their way into Gackt's bed. The first type was the skank, stupid dumb girls with a pretty smile and the ability to be hilarious in their stupidity. The second he had named the bitch, smart girls that challenge Gackt, questioned his ethics and then ended up sleeping with him anyway. The third type he called the whore, the kind of girl who was after a night with a celebrity and didn't care who that person was. Kami wasn't exactly kind when it came to his opinions on the girls Gackt slept with, but then he didn't feel inclined to be kind. In short Kami was jealous but really what could he do? He wasn't smart enough to challenge Gackt's opinions, wasn't at all inclined to act like a total slut and he didn't believe he was stupid either. He was also a man. He couldn't forget that last part because it was what ruled him out completely.

            “So, what's her name?” Mana asked. A few concerts back Kami had accidentally referred to one of Gackt's girls by the name he had chosen for her and since then Mana had taken pleasure in mocking Gackt's girlfriends along with Kami. Kami did it out of love for Gackt but he suspected with Mana he joined in out of spite. He really shouldn't be discussing this with Mana but he couldn't help it, jealousy made him bitter and cruel.

            “Slut Drop, Open Legs,” Kami replied. “She works in a sex shop as a model.”

            “Underwear or the toys?” Mana asked.

            “Both.” Kami replied and Mana's lips lifted into a smile for a moment.

            “And the girl Yu~ki left with?” Mana asked. The bassist was almost as bad as the vocalist in the band when it came to picking up women.

            “Cash In My Ass.” Kami replied, remembering the obvious gold digger Yu~ki had left with earlier.

            “Közi?” Mana asked.

            “He's still with Giggles Too Much,” Kami replied. “I think he's actually serious about her, perhaps it's time we learnt her real name?” 

            “Maybe,” Mana agreed. “Say I left with someone, would you name them too?”

            “Not cruelly.” Kami lied. The truth was he was jealous of the whole band whenever they picked up girls, even Mana who did it so rarely that it was particularly cruel to mock, but it was jealousy again. As a drummer he could have girls, but men? That wasn't so easy, especially when you had your sights set on one man in particular.

 

            “I'm not the only one who thinks you're a man whore!” Mana snapped at Gackt a few days later. He was angry, yet again, at the vocalist and as always it had ended up with childish insults. Only today he was going too far. “Kami has such delightful names for your sluts.”

            “Kami?!” Gackt asked stunned. Kami blushed and turned his gaze to the floor but Mana wasn't finished, listing some of the more colourful names Kami had used.

            “How did you describe his last girl?” Mana asked. “Oh, that's right: 'with a bend in her spine from spending too long around a pole'.”

            “Really Mana I don't give a damn what you think,” Gackt snapped at the guitarist but his anger was directed at Kami. “You on the other hand. You were supposed to be my friend. The only one in this lame ass band I could trust. Guess I was wrong.”

            “Gackt!” Kami exclaimed but the vocalist was walking out and he was scared, he hadn't missed it, the glint in the other’s eyes when he had raised his hand moments away from lashing out against him.

            “Let him calm down.” Yu~ki advised but Kami was angry too, angry at Mana for sharing his comments and after a few harsh words Kami to was gone, wishing he had never confided in Mana. Everything had gone too far once he had found this as a way to bond with the guitarist, he should have realised it would all be brought up in an argument sooner or later.

 

            Thankfully the tour was over and they all had two weeks to themselves but Kami wasn't happy. He'd already spent a lonely Christmas without his friend, the present wrapped in black paper decorated with silver reindeer still beneath his tree. He'd been too ashamed to apologise and also too scared. What if Gackt didn't forgive him? What if....

            Eventually Kami picked up the phone, it was late on New Year’s Eve but he had to do this, he really didn't want to spend the new year arguing with his friend. Gackt had been right, they had been more than band mates but his desire for more than even this had led to him losing the friendship they had shared.

            “Hey it's me,” Kami said after Gackt had picked up. “Look I'm sorry.”

            “Took you long enough to apologise,” Gackt retorted, sounding hurt. “Who I sleep with has nothing to do with you.”

            “I know.” Kami admitted, though it did have something to do with him, because he wanted to be one of those girls he mocked.

“What I don't get is, if it bothered you why did you confide in him of all people?” Gackt demanded. “If it's been Yu~ki, or Közi it would be different but you talked Mana of all people!”

            “He was the only one who cared,” Kami admitted. “I should have known better.”

            “You shouldn't even think such nasty things. I don't get it. You always seem so nice.” Gackt complained.

            “Gackt, I can't help feeling what I feel.” Kami admitted.

            “Seriously, why do you hate them so much? You're acting like a girl in my high school who had the biggest crush on me and made sure to loudly slag off any girl I choose to date.” Gackt complained, so right in his analysis but still blind to why Kami acted the way he did.

            “Why aren't you out tonight?” Kami asked, trying to change the topic.

            “Didn't feel like it.” Gackt admitted. “I keep looking at the last gift under my tree. You want to know something? I'm worried about hooking up with some girl now, thanks to you. Who knows how you'd react. Psycho.” The last word was a joke but it still hurt, he had been acting like a psycho recently.

            “Perhaps you should just not flaunt it before me?” Kami suggested, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

            “Why you jealous?” Gackt teased.

            “I'm gay.” Kami got out in a hurried whisper, hanging up the phone and sliding to the floor. There, it'd been said, Gackt could figure out the rest himself. Nothing more he could do.

 

            Gackt knocked on Kami's door an hour later, holding the gift he had bought the drummer and glaring at the snow that had begun to fall. He'd been stupid, boasting about the girls he slept with in front of Kami, never realising the drummer liked him. He'd hurt Kami and he hadn't even realised that he had been doing so. No wonder Kami had said such nasty things, he'd have acted the same if a person he cared for slept with everyone else but him.

            “You didn't have to come.” Kami complained, letting Gackt in. He meant it, he didn't want Gackt here, didn't want to have to discuss his sexuality but the vocalist wasn't letting him of the hook. He understood Kami's actions, he forgave them but they needed to be addressed to.

            “I'm taking my tree down tomorrow. Need to give out the last gift.” Gackt explained with a shrug, handing over the gift and removing his coat. He planned to stay and realising this Kami went to make him a cup of coffee to help him warm up from the cold outside.

            “Here you go.” Kami said, handing Gackt a mug and sitting down in a chair across from the sofa Gackt had decided to dominate. He felt he needed to keep his distance now, he'd pretty much confessed to having a crush on his band mate tonight and knew the other would respect his personal space more now because of it.

            “You know you've twisted yourself a terrible web,” Gackt commented. “If you insult everyone I sleep with, what would you call yourself?”

            “Stupid,” Came the answer. “You don't have a faithful bone in your body. I'm already stupid to care about you.”

            “But I like stupid people.” Gackt teased.

            “I know,” Kami agreed. “If I was a girl, would you be all over me?”

            “Totally. Let's see, I think you'd be the girl who I'd pick again,” Gackt said with a smile. “You'd be the girl next door type, the kind of girl who had a chance of being my girlfriend.”

            “But would I trust you?” Kami asked. “Or would that be stupid?”

            “I wouldn't cheat on you.” Gackt replied.

            “I'm not a girl though.” Kami sighed.

            “No. You're not,” Gackt agreed. “What are your New Year’s resolutions?”

            “Not to tell Mana anything, also to be kinder to those you sleep with,” Kami admitted. “I've learnt my lesson.”

            “I have three,” Gackt declared. “To find a steady partner, somebody to love. To admit I'm bisexual and pick a man and thirdly, to screw you so hard you shout your own name up to the heavens.”

            “My name?” Kami repeated, shocked by Gackt's words.

            “Kami-Sama!” Gackt moaned, his hand sliding over his own crotch, his eyes half shut with a look of bliss on his face. Blushing Kami understood what Gackt was saying, in his roundabout way his three resolutions were just asking him to be his lover.

            “Kami-Sama plays hard to get,” Kami replied. “Come on, let's go find a bar. No point celebrating New Year’s here when we could be partying.”

            “That's it? I confess I want to be with you and you turn me down?” Gackt demanded.

            “Of course. I don't want to be stupid. Prove you want me and then maybe, just maybe, we can be more than friends.” Kami explained, re-finding his lost self-respect. The tables were turned now, it was Gackt who wanted him and he who was preventing this relationship becoming anything more but they both knew Kami wouldn't resist for long. Just long enough to see if Gackt truly meant he was no longer going to be sleeping around. The next lover Kami was going to name would have a kinder name, who knows maybe he could be that man?


End file.
